Yours, Mine.... Ours?!

Have you ever watched a TV show or seen a movie in which the man was the "bread winner" and the woman stayed at home, barefoot and pregnant? Ugh, it KILLS me! As our last year at King begins, we are also gearing up for the "big move". We won't be sure where we will be moving to until about March, but we can always get a head start on stuff. Beyond the cleaning out of closets and under our beds, digging through the now seemingly ancient toys and yearbooks, we have the issue of money.

When does money stop being his or hers and becomes theirs, or in this case, ours? First, we needed to be completely honest with one another about our spending habits, what/if we owe anything and what we see our financial priorities as being. Obviously, credit cards (they're evil, don't even bother getting into that mess!), student loans, car payments, and cell phone plans were at the top of the list. Also, we have been monitoring how much we go out and noticing where we spend the most money. Food, food, and food. Seriously, the cost of going out to eat is absolutely ridiculous some days! With all of that weighing on decisions about future housing, transportation, and grad school looming ahead, we've made some decisions.

1. Pay off all debts A.S.A.P. - Obviously there are only so many hours in a day and so many days a week a person can work, but the sooner unsecured and then secured debts are paid off the better.

2. Save, save, and SAVE!!! - Although the goal is to be debt free as soon as we can, we also need a "Rainy Day" fund. This, for us, is more about a deposit on a housing rental, setting up cable, internet, utilities, etc., as well as moving expenses. There are only two adults and currently one dog making the trip, but we still have LOTS of stuff haha.

3. Honesty is the best policy, always. - It took me nearly 7 months to tell Luke that I had a pretty good amount of unsecured credit card debt. Nothing horrible, but enough to put a little pressure on someone. Being honest about what we have, what we need to pay, and what we have afterward is the best way of communicating when dealing with finances. Any big purchases are now discussed beforehand, let alone the daily things that come along. Being honest with your spouse (or soon-to-be) about your finances can definitely save lots of arguing, heartache, and money troubles down the road. Trust me.

4. It's who that wears the pants??? - Ha! This goes back to my opening statement of the man in the movies earning the income, while the wife stays at home doing everything a "good little housewife" should. Please! Luke and I take pride in being equal partners. He helps me with dishes and laundry when he can, but I'd rather do it if he'll mow the yard ;) Also, I will be working while he is in law school and he will be working when I go back for my MSN. Give and take people, give and take. It's about talking, listening, and being able to understand AND accept that at different times throughout your lives, you will in fact, be giving more than receiving and visa versa. It's about finding the balance between being a strong, stable couple and still retaining your sense of independence. No one said marriage would be a piece of cake, but as we are starting to discover, it's going to be an amazing adventure we get to take together.

5. Do Not Worry - "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:6 This passage from the book of Matthew is one of my all-time favorites. I AM THE ULTIMATE WORRIER!!! It's a horrible trait, but it's what God gave me so I deal with it as best as I can. Worrying, stressing, letting your head spin round and round will do nothing but push you further into an oblivion. In my opinion, have faith. Simple as that, yet it is sometimes so hard to do. Have faith, trust in the Lord and know that things may not always be smooth and there will be some bumps along the way, but His plan is in the works and all we need to do is follow.

Sometimes in life I feel as though I need a self-help book, but then maybe I could possibly write one hahaha!